In the term plastic surgery the word “plastic” derives from the Greek plastikos meaning to mold or to shape. Which has nothing really to do with the post, I’m just trying to show off a bit and hopefully explain why the posts title is dreadfully clever.

~crickets~

Well I think it is.

So onto the post itself…. the self replicating nature of plastic surgery.

Disclaimer: This is a bat-shit insane mental meandering.

When I was back doing undergraduate study at one point I lived in a share-house three or four other people. No steady couples, just young single folk saving money by staying in the one place. One of the girls, a cute little blonde thing had been saving up during her high-school years in order to get Rhinoplasty (a nose job). It wasn’t a particularly unattractive nose, I mean it suited her face, but it was the one (or at least main) thing about herself she wasn’t happy with. This got me thinking.

I’ve since read up on the phenomena, I’d done courses where the obvious link between appearance and self-esteem have been highlighted, even professionally counseled girls who’s anxiety and depression issues were all tied up with self-image. I got over my questioning of why surgery, despite its risks, is so popular. I even looked into the medical details of the procedures, tracked the sub-dermal changes with surgically altered musculature and the effects of inorganic implants on the human body. In the end I dismissed it as one of those baffling but apparently unavoidable phenomena that are tied up with the basic frailty of the human psyche. Only in the last few years have I wondered about the long term effects on society.

Psychology be damned, Sociology is where its at

As plastic surgery becomes more and more acceptable (see my past posts on the phenomena in Korea HERE, and HERE) what will this ultimately do to our gene pool?

Disclaimer: Extreme Logical Leap ahead

As each generation undergoes surgery to hide their defects, be they real or imaginary, then more and more of these defects will be passed on as the desirability of these folks is augmented. Beautiful people will breed, despite the ugly hidden beneath. Unattractive features will be less likely to be bred out of the gene pool and each successive generation will display more and more indicators of assault by the ugly stick. End result = Plastic surgeons get rich fixing ‘imperfections’ in the process they secure a new generation of ugified children who will grow up needing plastic faces to ensure they blend in with the artificially maintained standards of beauty. Eventually society will collapse under the weight of its own vanity. We will be controlled by a ruling class of thin limbed fashion models, towering over us on their over-extended femurs while behind the scenes their hair-plugged sugar daddies will be greasing the palms of our hidden medical overlords.

Our future Overlords gather to examine their slaves

Anyone seen a bulldog?

No seriously, this is a legitimate question.

A little known fact about bulldog’s is that pretty much every bulldog born today was delivered by C-section. A few hundred years of selective breeding (human engineered evolutionary pressure) has lead to puppies that have heads too big to allow a natural birth. Chances are that humans are going the same way.

There’s no proof to this yet, if any studies have been commissioned I haven’t read their results, but to me it makes a certain amount of sense. If a narrow pelvis, previously a massive complication in childbirth due to the large brain/cranium of the human child, is no longer a barrier to reproduction then maybe that trait will be more commonly passed on. Any trait that isn’t detrimental tends to be kept, passed on, and grows within a given population. With advanced medical procedures available more and more narrow hipped women will be passing their genetic templates onto the next generation. Between this and the increase in plastic surgery I’m foretelling a future of androgynous humanity, but that is the subject for another admittedly loony-tunes post.

Shakira

I’m not saying cesareans are bad, as a humanitarian I think that anything that reduces maternal and infant death is a great thing. I’m a big guy, and the woman in my life isn’t (isn’t big I mean, I think it is already apparent she isn’t a guy), so cesarean births are likely to be part of my life at a personal level. Its the cynic in me that sees a problem.

What happens if one of the multitudes of (admittedly highly unlikely) disasters that prophets of doom predict comes true. Humanity will of course survive, but any hammer blow that shatters our technological support structure will leave humanity vulnerable to all those factors that we’ve removed from the ‘fitness’ equation with modern achievements. Take away that support structure and any generation exposed to the full effect of a return to more primitive conditions will suffer horribly.

Rising levels of diabetes, may not in fact reflect poor dietary choices and sedentary behaviour, it could be that diabetes levels are rising because individuals who would have died before they were old enough to reproduce have now passed on their disease. This is one of the once life-threatening diseases that, with modern advances. have been neutralized. It’s sufferers have been able to live normal, healthy, and most importantly, fertile lives. Whereas in our history each generation would lose large numbers of defective or non-beneficial mutations, modern medicine is allowing these people to live, prosper, and potentially pass on the defect to the next generation.

As long as our technological age prospers it permits this to continue, saving millions of lives, and allowing millions more to lead healthy and productive lives. Yet should an event somehow demolish our technological crutch we will be faced with a two-fold blow to humanities chances of survival. The event itself, and the blow to survivors as medical and pharmaceutical aids are removed and our fitness as a race one again becomes a factor without artificial parameters.

Ashlyn Letizzia (the proud owner of a pair of bunny ears), Ashlynn Brooke (has her own website so go worship at that smooth, creamy altar), and Ashii Orion (who is over at Danni, but really needs to relocate to my Harem). Smear me with ash(-lyn, -lynn, or -ii) wrap me in sackcloth, I’m a bad little lapsed Catholic and I’ve never been so ready for my penance.

Two blondes and a brunette, hows that for Tuesday goodness?

Well, if lusting after these girls is a sin then Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa.

I’m not sure how Eastern European women do it, but they seem to reach me on a primal level, and this Czech-born Italian model is definately mad-wolf time material. So after a long break from the Babe pages I give you Alena Seredova

I dare you NOT to follow her up the stairs

Oh My God!

The place where I work has gone completely insane. Good thing is they’ve selected a nice ‘clinical’ hospital colour to promote a soothing and anxiety free atmosphere…… LIME FUCKING GREEN?….. what the hell. Why not just say “welcome to the 70’s, we’re that far behind”….. she-it…. at least that’s a little less unsettling then “we bought sanatarium surplus colourschemes on the cheap”.

How about truth in advertising? Try something that will actually appeal to school leavers “your parents will be 500km’s away!” We want students before de-regulation hits in 2012 and the big Universities can actually accept all those folks that had them as their first choice…

Since the new Logo has hit I’ve talked to about 20 odd people about it, and I haven’t heard a single positive comment. So with that in mind I wonder if any market research was ever undertaken, outside the designer and a few LSD addled party animals at the local cafe. Oh, and apparently if you shrink the logo and black & white it it isn’t flattering at all… that and the required font & signature on emails makes them unreadable on i-phones, blackberry, and small monitors. 

….. I want to be in Spin. Even the presenter apparently couldn’t discern the difference between a brand and a logo. We aren’t all lifer up here, most of the staff here have come from much bigger, usually corporate entities….. Hell, what sort of selling power is this thing supposed to have anyway?

The image says it all

and from wishful thinking to true batshit madness

Today being that big day on the American calendar (9-11) I though I should share some of the nuggets of … errr… wisdom I’ve accumulated through the years

If it looks too good to be true… it is

If a guy proposes in a truly uninspiring location and without a good delivery there are three possible reasons 1) He’s hoping you’ll say no, but he’ll always have the “but I asked” card 2) He’s a stupid jerk 3) Because every time he gets you in a suitably romantic situation you mention that “it would be a great place/time/moment to propose” and thereby leach and spontaneity / originality from the intended gesture.  

If you think your life can’t get any worse read Fail My Life

It doesn’t matter how in love you are as a guy, you’ll still be checking out the ‘smooth-skins’ that pass you by. However your internal monologue does tend to change over the years from “wow.. if I was single I would so hit that” to “if I was single, fifteen years younger, fifteen years stupider, and willing to put up with childish bullshit, I’d hit that”

Every cloud has a silver lining. Especially when we’re talking rain clouds and thin cotton linings.

Blow-Jobs do not indicate a committment. Flowers do.

Some people are morons, and many are proud of that fact. Just nod and walk away.

The things you care about can wound you, be picky about where you invest your emotions.

Nerd girls rock!

If a woman tells you that “life is empty and meaningless, I’m going to end it all” this is your opportunity to borrow her body for a few days. On the upside if you’re not complete crap she might get interested in life again, and if you are complete crap… who is she going to tell?

It’s a trap

Teachers and Nurses….. the rule of thumb is that the more ‘proper’ the public face has to be, the more freaky they are behind closed doors.

It doesn’t matter how much love you feel, how overwhelming the passion, how sure you are that this is the love of your life….. bestiality is still messed up.

Dating a prostitute isn’t as much fun as you might think.

If your going to play slaps 1) avoid the girl the bouncer lusts after 2) be warned, not everyone will slap you, in fact some will take you up on your offer no matter how twisted/perverted/strange it is.

If you don’t try it you’ll never know.

Christian girls aren’t always good girls. The ones that are, aren’t much fun. The ones that see-saw between mad-animalistic-lust and guilt, are fun for a while. The ones that embrace their inner-slut are keepers.

Guys think they want a nymphomaniac virgin….. but are unable to deal with it when they get either

Girls want a man they can change a little….. but get disappointed with the guy if they succeed.

Women spend hours getting ready for a night out, which a) makes them late, b) results in a crappy mood when they receive no male attention in reward for all this effort c) disappoints them when they discover that a woman at the club is wearing the exact same outfit as them.

Always apply the anal sex rule…. if it hurts, don’t do it.

Men find appropriate clothes with a smell test. The ones that don’t aren’t looking to pick up women.

If I don’t call you the next day its because 1) I think that you’ll think I’m a stalker 2) I can’t find your number 3) It’s on my to do list 4) I think you hate me after what I did/said

Good News Those philosophically opposed to vaccines are often allowed to refuse vaccination for their children.

Bad News Children are starting to die. Diseases almost eradicated by the vaccination programs are on the rise with completely preventable deaths from meningitis and whooping cough occurring in poverty-stricken third world locations like Pennsylvania and Minnesota…. oh wait…. maybe not third world.

The blindness of parents is causing the deaths of children mainly due to a statistically non-significant link alleged between vaccinations and autism. If you’ve been informed of the link I suggest you read Paul Offit’s Autism’s False Prophets to get a look at the real picture before you put your child’s life at risk over a remote chance they may develop autism.

Hey, don’t get me wrong, an autistic child is a burden for life, whereas a dead child gives us a reason to feel sorry for ourselves even as we pat ourselves on the back for being open-minded and not bowing to the pharmaceutical industry.

Fear not, such medical geniuses as Jenny McCarthy (America’s saint of spanking the monkey 1980 to 1990) and Jim Carey (Think he may have played a doctor once? Or was it a television technician?) have come out as champions of the anti-vaccination movement. With rubber face and plastic girl at the forefront of the war on preserving children’s lives we’ll have small-pox and black death back in no time.

Before smallpox was eradicated with a vaccine, it killed an estimated 500 million people. And just 60 years ago, polio paralyzed 16,000 Americans every year, while rubella caused birth defects and mental retardation in as many as 20,000 newborns. Measles infected 4 million children, killing 3,000 annually, and a bacterium called Haemophilus influenzae type b caused Hib meningitis in more than 15,000 children, leaving many with permanent brain damage. Infant mortality and abbreviated life spans — now regarded as a third world problem — were a first world reality. – Amy Wallace Wired Nov 2009

Well at least we know why the male parents are listening to this… well maybe not listening so much as nodding dumbly while trying to wipe the drool of their chins. I too flash back to the Jenny of Yore before she put the MILF into medical quackery and scare mongering.

Jenny McCarthy M.D. (Medical Doffus)

When I was young and stupid(er) I never understood what life insurance was for.

“So I die horribly, and as a direct I get paid? What the hell am I going to spend that money on, I’m frigging DEAD! ”

Now I’m old(er) and wiser I fully understand the senario.

“So my partner dies horribly, and as a direct result, I get rich? Pass me the icepick.” 

Have you ever taken something apart, had a look inside, then carefully put everything back only to realise you have all these leftover bits?

That’s sort of why I’m not a surgeon any more.

Man’s inhumanity to man doesn’t really get to me that much. Strange isn’t it?

A small war pops up, too small for the rest of the world to really care, thousands die before sundown and I’ m not moved. It’s expected. Humans are nasty, violent creatures. We’re capable of wonderous things, but when resources are short we are more savage then the so called ‘beasts’.

Then I see things like this, and I get moved to a state somewhere between sadness and rage…. not sure exactly what to call it. What I do know is that it makes me want to reach down the internet and strangle the shit out of people who say it “doesn’t really matter” because the rapture is just around the corner again.

People have been crying that since Jesus slipped on his flip-flops and told people to be “excellent to one another”.

Some bad news according to Matthew 23:36 & 24:34 & 16:28 either we’re all descendants of ancestors that come from the ‘unworthy’ pool and didn’t get to bodily ascend, or there were vampires/immortals in the crowd that day.