Yet another crack-pot pseudo-Christian group is claiming that “the end of the world is nigh” and beating their chests. 21 May is the date they all get taken away from this terrible planet with its sunshine, and beaches, and chocolate, and books, and orgasms, and all those other materialistic horrors that must be left behind for the purity of heaven. Someone pass me my harp, we’re going to have to make our own music because I’m pretty sure hell got all the talented musicians.
Of course they’re a bit late (Mark 9:1 or Luke 9:27) as the rapture took place about 2000 years ago, give or take the lifespan of Jesus’ audience….. unless he was lying….. or insane….. which would kind of invalidate the whole shebang. Not that I’m saying the whole ‘good book’ is more of a ‘good yarn’, loosely based on earlier Sumerian bedtime stories… not that I’m not either.
Needless to say I don’t get to cancelling my appointments for the rest of the month, and sadly none of those convinced that the 21st is rapture day have gotten back to me about my $20,000 bet that it isn’t. Shame really, no one is willing to back their faith with their finances.
Okay, maybe that’s not fair. I shouldn’t be mocking genuinely deluded individuals who are risking their futures by taking this seriously. I honestly hope that there is a rapture, during which all these folks get to fly off with their mythical master and get judged they way they hope. It’s kind of a long shot though, that they picked the right variation of the right religions, and that they have the right interpretation of their own (often contradictory) moral code. But I would be much happier if ALL the religious conservatives got a divine air-lift out of here and we were left with just the secular population with our concern for the environment and for human life. This world would be much nicer if we were all concerned with making this life better rather than self flagellating ourselves about a next one that might exist.