The worth of a Life

When I was young and stupid(er) I never understood what life insurance was for.

“So I die horribly, and as a direct I get paid? What the hell am I going to spend that money on, I’m frigging DEAD! ”

Now I’m old(er) and wiser I fully understand the senario.

“So my partner dies horribly, and as a direct result, I get rich? Pass me the icepick.” 

 

Have you ever taken something apart, had a look inside, then carefully put everything back only to realise you have all these leftover bits?

That’s sort of why I’m not a surgeon any more.

This makes me sick

Man’s inhumanity to man doesn’t really get to me that much. Strange isn’t it?

A small war pops up, too small for the rest of the world to really care, thousands die before sundown and I’ m not moved. It’s expected. Humans are nasty, violent creatures. We’re capable of wonderous things, but when resources are short we are more savage then the so called ‘beasts’.

Then I see things like this, and I get moved to a state somewhere between sadness and rage…. not sure exactly what to call it. What I do know is that it makes me want to reach down the internet and strangle the shit out of people who say it “doesn’t really matter” because the rapture is just around the corner again.

People have been crying that since Jesus slipped on his flip-flops and told people to be “excellent to one another”.

Some bad news according to Matthew 23:36 & 24:34 & 16:28 either we’re all descendants of ancestors that come from the ‘unworthy’ pool and didn’t get to bodily ascend, or there were vampires/immortals in the crowd that day.

Testify Brother!!!!

TESTIFY!!!

It is often mistakenly believed that the term testify comes from an early practice of cupping testicles while giving oath.. hence testament.

OUCH!!!

from the Judeo-Christian practice of screaming like a little girl after doing something that is both religiously inspired and totally moronic.

Leonor Varela

A Chilean actress that has moved onto the bright lights of Hollywood. Definitely an impressive looking woman.

Laisa Andrioli

This soccer babe hails from Brazil, a nation with an unfair distribution of gorgeous women. With women like this running around the field it is no wonder soccer is the worlds most followed code, I mean I’d follow her just about anywhere… sure beats the hirsute, sweaty guys on the men’s team.

Naousa 1823

Battlefield in Greece

Date: 1823
Location:Naousa

It didn’t actually hurt anymore. Probably not a good sign since he was lying in a pool of his own blood. The wound was deep, and if it opened again he wouldn’t last long. On the other hand it was surprisingly comfortable here, lying on the corpse of a largish Janissary. The sun was too bright in this land, even the air smelt wrong. So strange that he could smell anything above the stench of voided bowls and violated flesh of the soldier underneath him. Still wondering about the smell he watched the sun split into three, spin about the sky, and then blink out.

It was dark now. Not good, he’d lost hours; no idea how many. Next time he slipped into sleep he might not wake again. For a moment he considered taking out the small knife he kept in his sleeve and finishing the job the Turk’s sabre had started, but really he didn’t have the will. Not that it mattered, he was starting to see and hear things now. Not far away he could make out clearly a French nobleman, resplendent in decadent refinery, calmly sifting through a pile of dead Greeks. The French had gutted his city less then a decade ago before being driven off by the viciousness of the Russian winter, and now they were here. Typical bloody French.

He giggled to himself and the apparition spun at an alarming speed to look at him. It said something, no doubt in French, and he responded with a rude phrase he’d picked up from a particularly angry whore back in Moscow. The man scowled and, no doubt picking up on his accent, said something in broken Russian. That was simply hilarious. The apparition tried a few times more, but he couldn’t reply even if he wanted too, he was giggling too much, well more of a croak then a giggle, lubricated only by the blood from cracked lips. Darkness took him once more in mid chuckle.

It was light again, far away he could hear others scavenging the dead, but right now he was fixated on a small skin on the Janissary’s belt. He apologised to the slowly swelling man, it wouldn’t be polite to upset someone nice enough to act as his pillow, even as he struggled to reach the skin with its mouthful of water. It was amazing how much effort this was taking, and in small moments of lucidity he realised just how pathetic his efforts to sustain his life just a little longer really were, yet he couldn’t stop.

Dark again. Not sure how that happened. The skin was empty and the Frenchman was back, looking down at him. They icy blue eyes above him were dead inside, and around the mouth of the man was dried blood. The mouth was moving, but all he could pay attention to were the teeth, pointy, vicious. Even in his state he knew a Voordalak stood above him, he didn’t care about the odd words that penetrated his fogged mind “survivor”, “tithe”, “toy”. The monster was bending over him now, forcing its mouth onto his. Cold hands held his head motionless, an obscene kiss forcing his mouth open. There was a vile taste as something gushed down his throat, something cold, sticky, and foul. The blood of the dead and dying, regurgitated by a monster from his grandmothers bedtime tales, poured into him, burning his soul even as it revitalized his flesh.

“Stand up and walk”, it commanded :“I’m not carrying you”.

He rose from his putrefying deathbed, a dying man newly filled with stolen life, and a damned vampire in a lace collar. He couldn’t help it, he laughed even as he followed. Laughed at the absurdity of it all, laughed at how foolish he had been to scoff at the old tales, laughed at the site of a bloodstained Frenchman standing outside the walls of Naoussa.

“Oh yes, you’ll be perfect for the bitch” the monster muttered as he eyed his new acquisition with disdain.

Errr…….?

Oh My Gods!!!!! http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-squid-bating-80691/

Okay, I can’t really add anything to that…………

Damn Brown & Innini

I used to think i was the only one who could see the awful truth, but it seems I’m not entirely alone. Minister Jonathan Weyer over at the Thomas Society has much the same opinion as I do of that pulp master Dan Brown. Let’s face it Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh did it better with Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Let’s take the work of Laurence Gardener, insert 2 dimensional characters and insipid dialogue and BAM!! instant best seller for those of the IQ under 80 crowd.

truth beneath the lies

Unrelated, except as the two blogs touch on reason and religion is this little gem shipped out by PZ Myers over at Pharyngula which gives one of the best, concise, translations of genesis I’ve seen. Damn you PZ for you enviable way with words!!

Here’s how you should look at the book of Genesis. Long, long ago, a tribe of desert nomads bumped up against the more cosmopolitan culture of Mesopotamia. They learned useful skills from the city people, like writing, but at the same time, the allure of those older, more sophisticated ideas was leading to the dissolution of tribal identity, and especially to a loss of respect for the austere and demanding desert god. Who wants to worship dry old El when slinky, sexy Innini is calling?

So in a move as old as religion, almost, the desert priests slyly adopted the popular culture of their neighbors, stealing all their myths, but rewrote them to put their one great god in charge of the whole story. Genesis is an exercise in syncretism, a wholesale theft of one tradition to be repackaged with a new set of symbols. It is not about the creation of the universe. It is about resolving a conflict between two human cultures.

Enough of the rambling… onwards towards scantily clad woman and deep sociological analysis….. bet you never thought you’d read that particular phrase

Sexual Predators

I’ve been reading up on a few studies on female sexual abuse crimes, fascinating stuff, not just for the pathology but also for the way western society views the whole field.

A few ‘easy to swallow’ news bytes HERE and HERE

Not so much Eastern society, in Japan and Korea there is still a distinction between paying money to maintain a sexual relationship with an underage child, paid sex with an underage child and non-consensual sex with an underage child. Sorry guys, but all three are rape. They may not indicate paedophilia, (which is clinically speaking about attraction to someone without developed sexual characteristics), but all three are about having sex with someone who is legally considered to be unable to give informed consent.

There is a mind-set amongst the public, particularly amongst males that men can’t be victims, and women can’t be sexual predators. We cry off about maternal instincts and nurturing impulses in women and contrast this with the emotionally distant male stereotypes and examples of aggressive masculine behaviour. Sad fact is that people are just people, and some of them are just bastards.

Society has been swayed by years of sensational journalism (that’s right the jorno’s are to blame), folks that have been living in America come back with tales of kids kept waiting in the car, at the end of the driveway, until the bus arrives to take them to school three blocks away. The odds of having a child snatched away in America are less than 1 in 14,000,000. Balance that against the damage done to a young psyche by a daily reinforcement of how dangerous the world is and I’m betting more harm is being done then good. Sadly Australia is going the same way.

Stranger Danger may well save lives, but what is the mental cost? Hell what is the educational cost in cutting children off from everything except their parents’ world view and a sanitised non-offensive education curriculum?

As a tall and imposing guy, one that has worked with very young children, I’m aware of the legal risks in stopping to talk to children, heaven forbid touch one. As a stranger that often gets small curious mini-humans looking up with big eyes and wondering if I’m some kind of ogre, I have to be VERY careful. No helping a toddler up if it falls, no stopping to answer long rambling pre-teen questions from the infinitely curious, all because I’m male. If I was female there would be almost no issue; after all, women can’t be predators can they?

Perhaps it is because men are “only interested in one thing” (gods I hate that phrase), or are incapable of physical affection. NEWSFLASH: That’s Bullshit! Whatever the reason simple signs of human interaction from a male are considered creepy or threatening even when they would be perfectly acceptable when from a woman. The truth of the matter is that we are all, children and adults both, at more risk from those we know then from strangers. Murders are usually committed by people the victim knew, molestation usually happens within the family unit.

…..wow…..wandered so far away from my original train of thought that I can no longer see my metaphorical house from here….

my metaphorical house?

Work Choices

EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 1, 2009  

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.  

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’
category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management