The world is indeed comic

Far to the south in a frozen, concrete paved place of madness comes a song that calls to me.

Here the worst of mankind resides, the sins of greed, pride, and avarice roil within the wind blasted wasteland. Lust is legitimized, and the avatars of power hungry madness roam the otherwise empty streets. Frigid and laced with terrible, mind warping, geometries not meant to be witnessed by the human brain this stygian hell will claim me soon.

That’s right, I’m off to Canberra.

Australian Camarilla Conclave is on for another year, and this time I get to ‘get my LARP on’. GEEK FEST!!

For those of you that don’t know what LARP is I draw your attention to the following images (actually these are more Cosplay, and are happening just across the road, since the hot LARPers I’ve captured on film aren’t available to me on this computer) …. and a bonus image with Emily Scott (number 3) who is apparently from Canberra…….. so if she is there, single, and has really low standards, I may never come back.

Cosplay Babe 1

Cosplay Babe 2

Emily Scott

NEWSFLASH 25-Sep-2209

Popular Clone singing sensations the Splice girls today hit out at critics.

“Actually we’re more authentic then the originals ’cause we don’t need air-brushing to look good”

True enough girls, but I’m pretty sure that Genetic Modification for bigger breasts, longer legs, and wrinkle free faces has to make you as least as fake.

…in related news the American Idol begins its 210th Season, just in time for the Wham clone band Whammed to emerge from their vats. With the latest advances in cybernetics, these fabulous guys will emerge with pre-recorded songs and preprogrammed dance moves to avoid the messy process of having to learn things.

…in other almost related news, martian/human hybrids finally get the vote on Ganimede 

…and in other unrelated News http://thebloggess.com/?p=4069

The End is Nigh… again

“We will receive many warnings allowing us to change our ways from below the Earth as well as above. Then one morning in a moment. We will awaken to the Red Dawn. The sky will be the color of blood, many things will then begin to happen that right now we are nor sure of their exact nature. For much of reality will not be as it is now.” – Hopi prophecy!

Yet again with the doomsday talk, horror abounds. The sky goes red in Sydney, the earth shakes in Melbourne, and Queenslanders are seen in Brisbane. The signs are all in place, the God Fearing will be taken up to heaven (where they get to play harps until their genitalia fall off) while we godless heathens are left behind to wander an environmentally devestated wasteland and drool over Rhona Mitra. Or maybe I’ve just slipped into the Silent Hill game?

22 September has come and gone, and with it all the sinless true Christian believers who left with the promised rapture……. Total count 0

Sorry guys, looks like the Taoists were right.

Here, however I’m kicking myself that I hadn’t joined a Christian Doomsday cult. Yesterday I could have cleaned up in the dollar’s and doll’s stakes.

Look out the window rich people, it is the END TIMES, time for a last minute donation to our non-profit charity coffers to buy your way into heaven.

Look out the window pretty people, it is ARMAGEDDON, time for you to come cuddle up with the prophet (that would be me) for a last minute blessing, let me lay my hands upon you and anoint you with my…. err… well, we’re all consenting paranoid schizophrenics here. Well it worked for Muhammad and Joseph Smith.

It did however help my “day of work with a blisteringly sore throat scheme” which wasn’t so much a scheme as it was a really miserable day home being sick.

I sent an email to work with possible reasons why i wouldn’t be in

Option 1… as the sky has turned red, the earth has trembled, and more portents are to come I’m in my shelter waiting for the rapture

Option 2… Home sick

Of course the real story here is loss of topsoil due to clearing and farming practices. But why confuse real science environmental horror with supernatural scare mongering.

Rev 6:12 And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood;

Fight Socialism

Print the pledge and ask all your teabagger/libertarian friends and family to sign it!

The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

I, ________________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2ndAmendment Rights in this country, while I am duly >being allowed to exercise my 2ndAmendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

Social Security

Medicare/Medicaid

State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)

Police, Fire, and Emergency Services

US Postal Service

Roads and Highways

Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)

The US Railway System

Public Subways and Metro Systems

Public Bus and Lightrail Systems

Rest Areas on Highways

Sidewalks

All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009federal senate appropriations–http://grassley.senate.gov/issues/upload/Master-Approps-73109.pdf)

Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

Public and State Universities and Colleges

Public Primary and Secondary Schools

Sesame Street

Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children

Public Museums

Libraries

Public Parksand Beaches

State and National Parks

Public Zoos

Unemployment Insurance

Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services

Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, Stateor Federal Government (pretty much all of them)

Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)

Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD’s ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking

Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies

Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist

locations, including but not limited to:

Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History

The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments

The government-operated Statue of Liberty

The Grand Canyon

The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials

The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery

All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF ____________ IN THE YEAR ______________.

___________________________ ___________________________

Signed Printed Name/Town and State

 

Stolen whole from http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/09/as_for_me_i_love_socialism.php

Mein Cossie

A few weeks ago I got into a slinging match with another forum prowler about the status of religion outside America, and the illusion of America as a Christian nation. I come from a nation with about 9% church attendance and a massive multiculturally diverse population, so I find this viewpoint fascinating.

While I suffered though my usual horror at a Fundamentalist American understanding of their own history (The Declaration of Independence did not establish US law. The Constitution, a deliberately secular document, did) but what really blew me away was the complete absence of world history and geography. I have a ‘cut and paste’ document where I can easily grab chunks of text to explain concepts that regularly come up, but this time I had no response to “without us you’d be speaking German”.

I was stumped.

Then I found out that my fact challenged sparring partner thought that Austria was just shorthand of Australia. But I’m not sure how that helps.

A) He thinks if it wasn’t for “us” I assume he means America, because I’m pretty sure he hasn’t been personally battling multi-lingual education, but I could be wrong an island nation on the other side of the Globe would have been annexed by Germany and had its language usurped. Okay…. Not completely impossible…… I guess.

B) He thinks if it wasn’t for “us” then that ‘Austria place’ that sits next to Germany, which speaks German and always has, would otherwise be speaking German. Huh?

C) Europe has Kangaroos and Koalas.

Perhaps I should have simply responded with two simple truths… that if it wasn’t for the French, America might still be a colony (check your history), and that while America’s influx of soldiers and equipment did certainly help turn the tide of the wars, it arrived almost 3 years late and only with great reluctance. You wouldn’t believe the bitterness of several of Great Uncles and my Granddad (WWII veterans all) towards America and its reluctant entry into the war they considered to be “not our problem” right up to Pearl Harbour.   

As Thomas Jefferson once said “I have examined all the known superstitions of the world, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike, founded on fables and mythology. Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make one half the world fools and the other half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the earth.”

Oh well, “In God we Trust”* so that we don’t have to think for ourselves… so I guess Allah will preserve us all

NOTES
*”In God We Trust” was established as the national motto in 1956. A reaction to “godless communism”, this McCarthy-era action may violate the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment.

Music Mafioso

There has been a (not so) recent trend with hip-hop style music to take (or re-make) sound bytes from classic songs and insert them alongside modern rap-like lyrics. Sometimes this can be truly awesome such as with the Hill Top Hoods’ Nosebleed Section or Hard Road or the Audiobully’s Shot You Down. Though admittedly electronic has been sampling older work for as long as I can recall.

These songs take the old, mesh it with the new and create something unique.

Then there is Kanye West, only just heard of him the other day. Listening to Diamonds From Sierra Leone, I jumped to the conclusion he was some guy who’d gotten a once off arts grant to represent tone-deaf egotist minority group in the modern music industry.

Seems I was wrong.

This guy has been around for a while (hey hip-hop isn’t usually my thing) and for the entire time he’s been representing tone-deaf egotists with martyr complexes in the music industry.

Music aside; my god is this guy a douche-bag! So during the MTV Europe Music Awards, Kanye went onto the stage as the award was being presented for “We Are Your Friends” and argued that he should have won the award instead. Most recently during the young Taylor Swift’s crowning glory, best female video or somesuch, Mr. ‘I don’t need to respect you cause I’m wearing bling’ steals the mike. Way to go, bully some teenage girl because she’s white, and therefore has no feelings to hurt. Worse, it’s not the first time he’s injected unwanted opinion into these sorts of moments. This guy just likes to rain on other peoples parades.

I smell a cubic shit-tonne of douche-baggery. Not certain if that’s a cubic or imperial measurement….

Girl's got TALENT

Music included; my god is this guy a douche-bag! Take the old clip, meld it into your song and make something new. I get that, I respect that. Or you could do it Kanye style and take an old song in its entirety and use it to carry a few lame arsed lyrics you tack on as an afterthought.

Rude and apparently talentless (though admittedly I have a soft spot for Jesus Walks)…. Way to be a role model. Let’s let the image speak for my opinion here.

 

 

  +

Food Fight!

O’ the angst.

Hypothetically speaking how do you arrange a birthday party for someone who has an eclectic array of friends? Serious professionals who would be appalled by games talk, gamers who would be appalled by attention hogs, attention hogs who would be dismayed by serious conversation.

Recipe
Take (no more than) 20 individuals, strain for major personality conflicts, personal hatreds and professional rivalries. Mix with food and alcohol and then pray there is no violent combustion. It’s an italian restaurant so I just hope it doesn’t turn into..

Of course the fallout afterwards will be fun…. Excluded folks assuming it’s a personal vendetta, included folks wondering why some weren’t excluded. Guess that’s the bonus of being a closet ruthless bastard, I’m happy to wear the growling in order to (fingers crossed) make the night a success. Sadly I’m also a vaguely senile heartless bastard, so I’m sure I’ve forgotten folks.

Oh yeah…. and the Silver Crusader will be on-site, the SO’s mother. 

Maybe I should just hand out boxing gloves and save myself the hassle?

Shipwreck

A  man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.

Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.

Looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island.  After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Irish man.  Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and… put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen.  She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual.  It was another beautiful evening… red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze – perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Irish man started to get ‘those feelings’ again.

He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and realizing he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear,

‘Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?’

Unionism – a personal perspective

Work a sixteen hour day (actually work, not the Korean “be at work for 16 hours, but feel free to read, surf the internet, or sleep”)?
Forced to provide sexual services in exchange for continued employment?
Paid a fraction of what your male counterparts are paid?
Forced to subsist on an income that leaves you below the poverty line?
Made to work in unsafe, even potentially lethal environment without protection?

Then joining a Union is for you.

Sadly, in most developed nations the union is no longer an organism for promoting the rights and welfare of the oppressed workers. Instead the Union exists as a mechanism for representing the uninformed, often in a manner that serves to justify the existence of the union, rather than the interests of the worker.

The problem with Unions in Australia is that they’ve been so successful that they’ve made themselves almost irrelevant. Ingrained in the Australian psyche is the 35-40 hour five day working week, the assumption that overtime is a right, and work conditions that are right up there with the best in the world. Australians take sick days as they come, often even taking mental health days to regain the ‘right frame of mind’ to tackle work again the next day. We are spoilt.

Sure there are those that are working 70 hours a week plus, but these are the career orientated folks that are climbing the corporate ladder to the lofty heights of six digit incomes and coronary failure. This is a choice, and those who don’t take that option are seldom looked down upon as long as they do “a fair days work for a fair days pay”.

I’m not anti-union, though I have been burnt by inept union intervention in the workplace. I’m sure we’ve all seen the incompetent worker, one that we’d love to see gone so we can stop carrying them, crying unfair treatment and being rescued from a well deserved sacking by union intervention. But there comes a time when you have to look at what’s happening and demand to know why Union officials are playing politics at the expense of your continued employment. Demanding massive pay increases, with no loss of conditions, and unrealistic workload clauses in a time of economic downturn isn’t that bright.

Making misleading statements, misrepresenting the facts, failing to turn up to negotiations and relying on scare tactics to spread propaganda isn’t just stupid, it’s downright duplicitous. If you can’t trust a union to be honest why be a member, and if you can’t trust them to be supporting staff rather than plugging a national agenda why even lend them an ear?

I get pissed off when I hear all this, and with the inescapable conclusion that people are trying to further a political career by taking stupid risks with the lives of everyday employees. I see sacrificing the long-term financial stability, and thus job security, for some quick publicity and a short-term view.

(names of organizations omitted to protect the inept ( and my employment))

Irish Ingenuity

‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl’

The priest asks, ‘Is that you, Dicky?’

‘Yes, Father, it is.’

‘And who was the girl you were with?’

‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.’

‘Well, Dicky, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Was it Teresa Brown?’

‘I’ll never tell.’

‘Was it Margaret Doyle?’

‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’

‘Was it Anne O’Neil?’

‘My lips are sealed.’

‘Was it Catherine O’ Tool, then?’

‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped Dicky, and I admire that But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.’

Dicky walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’

‘4 Months holiday and five good leads’.