Gym Jive

VICTORY IS MINE!!!

You heard it first, I finally worked out how to get my phone to pick up FM radio, and have tuned it to the Music TV that’s set up in the gym.

No more quiet workouts for me, now my 30 minutes of vigorous peddling and stationary running will be accompanied by the finest in modern music……. ohhh….dear….. stay tuned for a “man goes on homicidal rampage in gym” news byte.

No sadly that is neither my gym, nor is it I in the forefront….(and why am I getting an anachronistic tone in my writing?)

While I’m on the subject can someone please explain the stationary bike, the stair climber, or even the running machine to me? No matter how hard we drive the damn things we never get any closer to the cutie in front of us, we’re just brainless hamsters on our high-tech treadmill. Kind of makes me want to go out and actually walk somewhere, you know, with changeable scenery.

Of course as lovely as nature is, sometimes you have to sit back and watch the sweat running down the toned flanks of a gym babe to really understand why you do this to yourself (I’d take a few shots, but that could get me arrested).

Damn….have to do a few extra reps tonight to burn off that excessive hormonal energy.

A Babes – Amanda x 4

I was in a Chinese restaurant recently and I was thinking about how a small duck is called a duckling — and I canceled my order of dumplings

From the photo stores come a collection of Amanda… I’ve always been fond of that name, possibly since I’ve dated two of them. Sadly the two I’ve dated aren’t in the list below, in fact Amanda isn’t necessarily their real name….. and I’m wandering again. So without further ado I give you (well show you really, if I had them to actually give to you I wouldn’t be sharing) the dark eyed temptress Amanda Hanshaw, the svelte Amanda King, the fiery goddess Amanda Olsen, and then Lady Godiva wanna-be Amanda Paige.

Why my posts have slowed down

I’ve come to the conclusion that without the constant culture shock of Korea the only things I really have to blog about are women (the source of all 90% of goodness), and jokes (the other 9%). I can’t really talk about work on a public forum, so corporate ethics is a no-go area, nor is there much else in my life except my girl and work.

I’ve also discovered that I’m really bad at maths.

I’ve got a second blog that is meant to be devoted to my writing, but I don’t do much there as it gets in the way of the actual writing to waste creative juices there I can’t talk about the girl either, its one of the rules.

Damn rules…..

So here is a Joke to fill your Mirth’O'Meter

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week’s shore leave. The first evening, the ship’s Captain received the following note from the wife of a politically connected wealthy factory owner:

“Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda’s Debutant Ball. I would
like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their
formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at
8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should
be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young
ladies. One last point: No Jews Please.”

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda’s mother heard a polite rap at the
door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling
black officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she
stammered,” There must be some mistake.”

“No, Madam,” said the first officer. “Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.

A Babes – Three Winners

I went to the doctor today with severe headaches. He asked me if I’d suffered any memory loss. How the fuck would I know?

I’m slack, i can’t decide which babe to post, so I figured I’d drop a sample of three. So for your viewing pleasure, we have Addison Rose, Aden Bianco, and Aimee Sweet.

Dinosaur Extinction

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.

If you do the maths, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth’s surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tallest ones, anyway.

Stolen shamelessly from Sickipedia… who stole it from somewhere else…………

A Babe – Annalise Braakensiek

Hey, someone likes my babe of the Day posts. Guess I better do some more then.. after all a fan base of 1 beats… um… okay not much… It does however salve my conscience to know I’m not the only lecherous old bastard out there. So today’s woman is bought to you by the letter A, which stands for Anti-Social Ass (that’s me by the way), Assault, and Aneurism (which is what my girl has every time I make a Babes post). A also stands for Aussie babe Annalise Braakensiek.

Upside of Global Warming

I knew we were experiencing one of the driest winters on record for where I live, and back on the 23rd it was the warmest winter day we’d experienced, but now its official. The Australian Bureau of Meteorology make the surprising step of making it official that this was the warmest winter on record.

Not Good!

I’m a winter person, that’s why I live on this damn mountain. Yet it looks like I’ll have to move to Tasmania to get my chill fix. We haven’t seen snow up here for years, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to live somewhere without even a frost.

On the bright side, it is the middle of winter and campus is filling with halter tops, short-shorts, and see-through cotton garments. I love living here, the contrast between the trendy Asian students with their boots, stockings, and fur trim, contrast with the bare shouldered and legged Aussie and European students, contrast against the burka wearing middle eastern students.

More skin makes me happy

Where else can I go for a coffee and hear conversations in at least five different languages in less then  15 minutes?

I’m thinking multiple beach trips over the next 9 months, and it’s still winter here………

I LIKE the beach!

PS If you’re one of the four brunettes front-left in this picture, call me! I can be single so fast it will break the sound barrier.

I’m going to pay for that one, my girl will no doubt murder me in my sleep as soon as she reads this

Joke Time

I have been so lazy lately….

A little boy about 10 years old was walking down the sidewalk, dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a whore house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, “I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it.” The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, “Do any of the girls have any diseases?” Of course, the Madam said, “No!” He said, “I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT’S the girl I want.” Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.

Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door! . The Madam stopped him and asked, “Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?” He said, “Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll jump the baby-sitter’s bones, and he’ll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE’S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!”

… on a vaguely related note I’ve added a prostitution mod to my fallout 3. Good game originally, but with the customization possibilities, an awesome game.

Kinda-Big Bang

A simulation of the collison of two planets…

…………why? Apparently we’ve spotted a new sun [HD172555] surrounded by a cloud of glass, yep GLASS.

This could only have happened after an event like this.

Gods I love science, the cosmos is full of miracles

Deaf & Dumb

I’ve been watching some rather entertaining toing and froing between a few blog sites, most notably Hard unTruth and Pharyngula. Sadly entertainment value has dropped to zero with the formers refusal to actually check their ‘facts’ and the latter’s (or rather the reader’s of the latter) refusal to realise that Tom Estes is willfully ignorant and unwilling to examine things logically.

Of course as someone pointed out T. Estes looks distinctly like a joke name, suggesting that the site may in fact be a parody sight designed to highlight the deplorable lack of education and critical thinking within the public. Sadly if this is the case it may well be backfiring as the informed are getting tied up arguing against a satirte site and the uninformed think it is championing their blind ignorance.

The cherry on top is of course the sheer tunnel vision of the site. The ‘pastor’ is a creationist defender, in his opinion Creationism is correct and backs this opinion by taking examples form the 1 scientist in every 20,000 that has apparently found some inconsistency in fossil records or carbon dating, or simply disagrees with old fashioned, evidence backed, science. Of course if you happen to disagree with his world view because you are not a believer in a higher power, or don’t have a patriarchal and monotheistic religious structure, or one that doesn’t descend from the Jeudo-Christian tradition, that didn’t break away from Catholicism centuries ago, and that didn’t splinter from a specific Christian faction decades ago that Tom shares, and you don’t believe in creationism, then you’re wrong.

Tom just doesn’t get it.

Faith asks “why?”. Science asks “how?”.

Not all scientists are atheists.

Not all atheists care about science.

You can still learn the How of evolution, astro-physics, geology, and cellular biology without even touching on the Why. Similarly you can submerge yourself in theology of the Why and never bother with the How. Sadly a uneducated pastor from location X can not stop himself from spouting that his interpretation of the Why trumps all the millions of studies, fossil records, ice core samples and evidence of How, despite the fact he hasn’t bothered to check his facts.

A man has a holy book his God handed down to him as being the Truth. This could be said of the Bible, the Torah, the Koran, the Vedas, the Book of Mormon and a thousand others. Apparently his Truth trumps the other Truths because…… errr… actually he doesn’t tell us why, just as he doesn’t show us any science to claim that science backs up the bible.

Sorry Tom, if you’re not intentionally running a parody site then you’re unintentionally running one. Its sick humor however, depressing, ignorant, and pedagogically flawed. It saddens me to think that our greatest gifts of awareness and curiosity are being curtailed in the pursuit of faith, especially when so many have proven that the two are not incompatible.