Lost Seouls

Another warning for those who forget that here in Korea they are the ‘outsider’…. have a look here

Now I have to return to the land of expensive food and water restrictions….. how will I ever survive? Paying rent and having to talk to people…. yuk.

I was going to have a few peaceful months kicking back, reading, writing, and watching movies. That was my plan, but now they’re kicking my arse to the curb to make way for what appear to be a gay couple (girls) who want to start before my contract even ends. I’m not sure my boss is ready for this, good little Korean Christian that he is……

Of course the upside is that my poor ears, nose, and eyes might get a rest from the cars, kimchi, and neon respectively. Oh well, could do with seeing blue sky, breathing fresh air, and being able to walk around at 4am without bumping into people.

Be nice to be back for a holiday, see you all (well some of you) soon, and for those left behind I’ll see you in a few months….

I’ve only had a short time in the mental health industry, but that time has completely changed how I view the world, a change that I think is for the better, certainly one that makes me more tolerant of those that a different from the accepted norm. So before I begin this article let me just say that I’ve never been anti-drug, if people want to risk their sanity and their health by engaging in destructive behaviours let them. Now having said that I realise that not all drug taking behaviour is destructive, and many ‘casual users’ can take it or leave it.

I’ve never been pro-drug either, I hate that idiots proclaim that their drug of choice is safe. When addition sets in, or the usage interferes with the individuals ability to fit in with society, or the body begins to suffer then the user has only themselves to blame. But what if a pharmaceutical company can take the ‘high’ from the shrooms and manufacture it into a life altering drug? What happens now?

So this study on the effects of the active ingredient of ‘Magic Mushrooms’ raises my interest. The preliminary results look very interesting, but even with the largely positive results we reach a philosophical conundrum. If a substance drastically and permanently changes my outlook on life, even if it is for the better, then is this a good thing? The self is the sum of my experiences and thoughts, so an artificial shift in how I perceive the world could be seen as an attack on the self.

Superkids, English Land and English Time an Overview

English Land is a fun series of books that uses commonly recognised Disney characters to frame its teaching structure. Sadly the books leave a lot to be desired, they have some good concepts but fall down in vocabulary and lack complexity. I recommend English Land 1 as a speaking book for children still struggling with phonics, but the later books prove too simplistic for anything but slow learners or Hagwans that are basically providing childcare-in-English.

Superkids is a basic textbook for juniors that focuses on spoken English. It is a good book for slow and moderately skilled learners but falls don when faced with linguistically gifted students or those that are just very smart. The format is easy to follow, the characters remain consistent across the series, as does the layout of each book with a double picture page intro on each chapter followed by 4 exercise pages. Your biggest obstacles with this book are keeping the children interested and yourself awake after you’ve taught the book for the twentieth time.

There is an attached activity book that many of the kids will enjoy, especially if they like to colour. Sadly colouring is often the bane of teachers faced with ’serious’ mothers and you might want to minimise activity book use if the parents will see this as a waste of time. The book provides a good introduction, and can be used as the skeleton of your English course. As with all books you will need to add certain activities to the base book to ‘flesh out’ the gaps in the book, and while the book is aimed at the ‘average’ learner you should never underestimate how fast an interested child can absorb a new language.  

English Time is possibly the best choice of the three for a ’serious’ course. There is enough complexity in the book to keep it useful for the gifted students, and it is still enjoyable enough to keep the mid-level students interested. It is an old book, but quite a good one overall.

There is a not-so hidden system of protocols when it comes to drinking in Korea, and if you mess up too often you move from ‘amusing-white-person-that-can-do-tricks’ to ‘annoying-foreigner’ and that isn’t good. 1) Never pour your own drinks. 2) Try not to have an empty glass on the table. [Be warned most Koreans will swoop on an empty glass, so if you want to stop just leave it half full] 3) When pouring a drink, hold the bottle in your right and support your elbow with the left. 4) If you are given a shot-glass you are expected to hold it with both hands while your host fills it, drink the shot, and then hand it back. You can NOT sip your first few shots, but you can slow down later. [Meals will involve a LOT of shots so it is a good idea to slow down long before you have the urge to do a face-plant on the hotplate.]

Additionally drinking is Koreas’ national pastime, they can pass-out at an Olympic level, and drunken behaviour often exceeds what we would consider drunk and disorderly.

That should read drunken behaviour for men.

Actually it should read drunken behaviour for Korean men.

The Etiquette

Pour for those older or more senior then you, and receive from those who are younger or further down the pecking order (usually a woman). Accept the drink in the polite manner with both hands on the cup and arms outstretched. If you’re at the bottom of the ladder some ‘generous’ soul will be sure to pour for you, possibly while smirking at their superiority. This is not a reason to start a fight, however if you’re upset by the hierarchy, you might want to try another country.

When you take you first drink, turn your head to the side. Do not look directly at anyone who is older than you, in fact try to avoid all eye contact while drinking. This means that the standard cheers is right out… 

There is also a certain signature noise made by sojo drinkers following a shot, the video below gives a good example of it, even if Boa is a actually drinking beer.

The Warning

As a final rule, and one that makes my blood run cold, don’t interfere when you see some drunken ageoshi beating on his girlfriend. This is apparently acceptable behaviour here and if you interfere (speaking from a guys perspective) it will start a fight that will result in you getting sued (best outcome), deported (moderate outcome) or jail-time with being sued (worst outcome). While Korean men may engage in unacceptable behaviour while drunk they all had ‘hard lives’ and it’s okay. If you’re not a local then you’re just one of those ill-mannered, arrogant, woman stealing, criminals and you deserve whatever comes your way. 

PS. I’m not certain how things would go if a white girl decked a drunken male for bashing his girlfriend, but since hitting women, and children is acceptable for drunks, I’m willing to bet he’d swing back.

In most countries drug use is part of a subculture, a minority of people who knowingly and willing flaunt the laws. In Korea that drug culture is such a minority that most Koreans I know consider Marijuana to be right up there with crack cocaine, they think that smoking a joint will lead to robbery, fighting and rape, (sounds more like excessive Soju to me) as opposed to the binge eating and sleeping that are more likely. This sort of misunderstanding is magnified by newspaper coverage of drug busts and crimes, journalist here take a great joy in telling their audience just how depraved these foreign drug-fiends are, while glossing over the fact that they had a Korean supplier.

Penalties for drug use here can be quite strict, certainly by my home countries standards, but still fall way shy of Indonesia’s “kill the carrier” attitude. Even so there seems to be no end to the number of deadshits who are happy to keep feeding their addiction. You can thank these idiots for the inevitable, “so have you ever done drugs?” that emerges once you get to know the natives.

What really gets me is that folk must come here with some inkling of the state of things, yet they continue to take such foolish risks, and further sully the already clouded reputation of foreigners in this country. I’m sorry guys, but if you are unwilling to take just a few months off your drug of choice then you’re either addicted (in which case you have my heartfelt sympathies) or you’re freakin stupid (in which case you should not be allowed to breed). Do us all a favour; stay clean for your contract and then head over to Bali to melt your brain cells for a month or two.

For Korea’s drug policy click here.

Sometimes we forget where we are and try to bring those quaint concepts from our own culture into the Korean one. You know how it goes, somehow the smells of fermenting garlic and carbon monoxide addle the brain and we regress into pre-learned behaviour. One of those, and one that raises the hackles of the locals, is Tipping. In America Tipping is part of the usual process in the service area, its the customers required supplement of the truly crappy wages earned by waitresses and others.

Whatever the reason, I’ve seen Americans here practically go into spasms when they find locals who are unwilling to take a tip. Europeans and Aussies have it a bit easier as we’re accustomed to tipping less, and often only for exceptional service and/or quality. The problem comes from the Korean perception on Tipping, where it is equated to either a) charity, and thus an insult to their pride assuming they are incapable of sustaining themselves or b) insulting, you’re trying to ‘buy’ service or friendship from the staff member.

In the land of Kimchi those who are forced into the role of beggars, or are just poor, are looked down on. Perhaps a hang-over from the Confucian mindset where we control our destinies, and that if fate hasn’t been good to us then it is somehow our own fault; then again this sort of bigotry is hardly confined to Asia. Likewise the only industry here where tipping is an accepted practice is the sex industry, and no waitress wants to be mistaken for a ‘juicy-girl’. (Especially if they actually are!)

That said you are encouraged to tip the stripper, the juicy girl, the massage parlour girl, the girl who-comes-to-your-house-for-coffee-and-might-stay-if-she-likes-you, the girl you hire to keep you company in the singing room, and the late-night hairdresser. Just remember that there is no prostitution in South Korea and the idea that they eat dog is a nasty rumour started by jealous South-East Asian nations. Always be nice to the person with their hands around your…. um …. future.

It looks to me like the practice of tipping merely subsidises poorly paying industries, preventing the staff from getting the pay increases they deserve, and empowering the allowing the businesses to maintain their slave-labour salaries…. but maybe I’m alone in that perception. You could argue that Tipping is part of the massive divide between rich and poor in America, where the person performing physical labour to deliver essential sustenance or services survives below the poverty line and sedentary CEO’s make millions giving orders to others.

I’ve been wandering the blog-sphere the last two days and have been finding two reoccurring themes, naturally as a shallow creature with no long-term memory I’ve got these fresh in mind I’ll need to add my own over inflated ego 2 cents to the discussions. The first is the ever present “man’s inhumanity to man” and the other is feminism and the possible differences between men and women of a cultural and biological basis. I’d blather on about each but this may actually require me to do some research (or at the very least track down the bits I read). So in the interests of further cluttering the internet with more mindless drivel, and infuriating anyone who has no aesthetic taste and was bought to this site on a “feminism” key word search, I present you with six new babe of the days, proudly bought to you by the letter D.

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Yesterday was the second time my other third has been told that her operation isn’t happening. This isn’t simply a case of being bumped down the list due to higher priority cases, it’s being given a date and then being told that “we’ve never heard of you”.

Yesterday was the worst, after trekking for over an hour between trains, carry both my partners bag and her mothers, we got to the Hospital Admissions before being told that no one was aware of the operation that she had been told was scheduled today. I know the doctors here have first rate credentials, I also know how large organisations tend to balls things up, but the inability of different departments to communicate amongst themselves is a bit mind-blowing. Sure there is a language barrier, but we started of at the International Clinic with English speaking doctors and utilized an long suffering chingu (friend) to assist with talking to administration, and still no joy.   

From the depths of purgatory I stab at thee….

So here is an A (Abi Titmuss), B (Barbara Chiappini), C (Carmella Danielle Decesare) of Babes of the Day proudly sponsored by my bleak existence.