Slackness is a Virtue

This is me being really slack and telling you to get over to the Grand Narrative for an excellent piece on facial sexuality signals. http://thegrandnarrative.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/women-faces-hormones/ is the link.

Vexatious Litigation?

Well I’ve had two incidents with protected material now. Not bad over quite a few years of blogging with content snaffled from across the length and breadth of the World Wide Web.

The first was a very aggressive and rude cease and desist from a company that has apparently trademarked Selling Power as a corporate brand. Frigging insane, taking a generic phrase and slapping ownership claims on it. The outcome of this is of course that I share my experience with Selling Power the trademarked brand rather than ‘selling power’ the marketing phrase and the terms ‘douche bag’ and ‘avoid’ come up a lot.

The second one Bikini Australia has been a different kettle of fish (PS I’m trade marking Kettle of Fish, please refrain from using that combination of words since we don’t want to risk Kettle of Fish being declared by the courts a generic word). Not only did I reproduce something that was recognisably their property without permission, but after their initial template response they were pretty decent about it.

So, final outcome

Bikini Australia = “Sorry guys, I’ll try not to let it happen again”

Selling Power ™ Magazine = Never read it, never will on principal, yet if the subject comes up I will explain my limited interactions with them in great (but accurate) detail.

So I’m left wondering if the inherent wankerism in example 1 is a result of an excessive litigation system where the legal profession is struggling to justify its bloated existence, or simply a cultural difference.

French declared “God’s Chosen People”

VRNews Flash

American Evangelist Pat Robertson has gone out on a limb and declared that the French are God’s Chosen People, replacing the previous position holders the Jews.

This remarkable statement was met with silence by evangelists everywhere who are certain that they themselves are God and can’t recall having proclaimed that.

However Roberston produced irrefutable proof, by showing that the French are so blessed that it took a Satanic Pact to drive them out of Haiti.

It has been speculated that following this revelation, the Iraqi people might attempt a similar pact. However informed sources assure us that Satan would never turn on his own in that manner.

This has been a Very Reliable News release.

The text generation

You know, if I got to live my teen/early twenty years over again, I think I’d have to move to the states.

There is just so much drama, and let’s face it, if sites like textsfromlastnight and mydrunktexts are anything to go by, then the combination of puritanical sexual mores and large population base means that when the young’uns break lose they go all out.

Maybe its just a generational thing, it’s just that those ‘iffy’ conquests are more socially acceptable now? Anyway, here are a few grains of slutty brilliance from amongst the chaff of the banal.

(404): I’m mad at the bf and think best course of action is to suck your dick. You in?

(501): (recv’d) Fuck me (sent) Yes please (recv’d) Oh sorry wrong number (sent) Still wanna fuck? (recv’d) Hell yah bitch

(816): The guy that lives downstairs is either a sex god or only brings home screamers. My BF leaves this week, I may just have to find out.

(607): (sent) Can you cum for me in a cup, my boyfriend just came on my tits and in my hair, I want to get him back (rec’d) DUDE, i’m his best friend, you know how sick that is? (sent) please? (rec’d) come give me a blow job and you can keep what you get out of me. (sent) deal on my way. (rec’d) got a boner already

(352): I just did a guy and his brother. Then gave me a bottle of captain and a key to their house. Victory?

(831): So i told her to give me a PBJ and she gave me the best blowjob i have ever had in my life. Later i learned she thought it meant “perfect blow job”. what a great night

(732): i woke up next to her mom. i snuck back to her bed. they’re both making breakfast. high five later

(401): I just woke up in a tent with this girl, sat there for 15 minutes trying to remember her name, when she woke up she said “Hi, I’m ashley.” I think I’m in love!

(303): i have bruises on my hips that really really represent the exact marks of a guys hands from grabbing me and f*cking me from behind…. i thought me and you and your boyfriend were hanging out last night?

(405): Met hot chick at bar. Went to her place. Fucked for like an hour. Played HER xbox, while getting a bj. Fucked again. More xbox and bj. Fell asleep, and what do I wake up to? Motherfucking pancakes… with chocolate chips. I’m in love…

(253): My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: “Morning baby” My response: “Your cum is in my hair”

(780): Money? We don’t need any money to get drunk. I have my “fuck me” shoes on, and a double push up bra. The drinks will be bought compliments of my breasts. You can thank them later.

(708): After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying “thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded.”

(404): I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.

(571): I’m wearing this super skanky ass dress that’s wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday

(615): The only reason I gave him a bj was because I was cold and he had a snuggie on. (1-615) but he’s your STEPBROTHER. (615) we’re not blood

(860): OMG girl, I am pretty sure I had sex with 3 guys last night, does that make me a slut (1-860) NOOOOO, that makes you my hero!! (860) ok, just checking

(248): I just woke up with 2 girls next to me, whipped cream on my stomach, 6 used condoms in the garbage, 2 bottles of bicardi, 1 bottle of jager, and a card on my nightstand that said “Happy Birthday son! -Dad”, “p.s. They’re both clean and their names are Amanda and Kristen”

(810): So his girlfriend just called me and told me she knows we are fucking (248) what did you say? (810) I told her she was right, and asked her if she didn’t mind coming to pick him up cus I was out of gas lol. (248) your such a bitch!

(850): yeah i know, but i felt bad. I had already gave both his best friends head. I didnt want him to feel left out. And since it was a sunday, I felt like it was the Christian thing to do.

(443): we were at the movies and she had to pee.. when she came out of the bathroom she said you know theres no one in there… and theres a handicap stall.. WIN

(260): I’m only friends with her so I can fuck her boyfriend without her getting suspicious. Is that slutty??

(952): She said she wanted to be on that show 16 and pregnant. Who am I to stand in the way of a dream?

(304): I walk into the room and find my roomie bent over taking it from behind and asks if i want some too….hey sex is sex, right?

(469): (sent)hey wat u doin? (rec)chillin,u? (sent)on all 4’s rite now..waitin for ur boyfriend 2 finish and leave

(517): Today i just found out that my best friends secret girl he has been talking to for months now and getting obsecne naked pictures from and showing me, Is my mother. i was beating off to those pics.. fml.

(315): idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me

(780): I got my period while we were having sex. He just thought I was a virgin. That’s a good thing because it means those kegel sexercises must’ve paid off. But it’s bad because now he thinks I’ve been texting him because I’m in love with him or some shit. But really, I’m just horny and he made me come eight times in an hour. Fuck. What do I do?

(262): I totally got ‘pull my hair’ tattooed on my ass…

(517): My boyfriend just DUMPED ME because i told him i was sick of having sex with him when he couldn’t do as good a job as my vibrator. [recvd]So come get me?! [sent]You have a tiny dick..

(989): so i was at a party and as soon as i got there i played bp and i couldnt loose and this girl got so mad we kept winning that on our 15th straight game she decided to go under the table and give me head as a distraction

(+41): look mate, i’m pretty sure 14 texts saying “fuck me. fuck me now” more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.

(217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

(204): The reason halloween exists is because it’s not cheating if you’re wearing a costume

(803): it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.

was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think “so my dick’s been in your girl’s mouth too” was a good ice breaker

(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed….. she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you’re a girl?(780): You’re not a sodomite. You’re a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she’d pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I’d say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

(803) No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

(301): Exactly. I don’t do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable. (201): I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

Lazy Season

Finally have net access… will pull my finger out and post something soon. In the mean time here is a community announcement.

Life

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas / Solstice / Yule and a happy new year folks…

Hope Saint Nicholas / Chris Kringle brings you what you want for the festive season.

One nation under (Oh My) God!

Not happy.

Not happy at all.

Copenhagen has proven a complete wash-out, with no real result coming from it. At this rate things will only be done to stop the climate change once there is a visible impact, and by then it will be way too late. You know what that means?

No?

It means that we can’t just lock America away in its own little corner of the world while it increasingly grows irrelevant on the world stage and inevitably fractures into its component pieces of United Sates of Canada and JesusLand, possibly with Mexico taking back their land. It’s so not fair, with America deliberately undermining their scientific and industrial advantage on the world stage, they would have been perfect for a plethora of jokes and sarcastic posts.

Oh no.. America isn’t the only place that will be still belching out toxins into the atmosphere, and as such it can’t be sent to the corner by itself with a dunce hat on. It seems the godless communists are just as intent on poisoning the world and drowning their pesky neighbours as the god-fearing bible bashers. That’s right, as long as Jesus is your friend you can keep on ruining the world for the future generations, after all the rapture is just around the corner…again…..or if you’re the Chinese government you can hope the pollution will help cull your population.

So, back at home, in a nation where more than 90% of the population is at least concerned about global warming, where there is almost universal acceptance of Climate Change as a process (if not consensus on the outcome), we’ve not signed anything binding either. Great way to go Rudd, lets follow the lead of these two great leading nations, one built on genocide and apparently trying to reclaim the glory days of the dark ages, the other happy to censor all criticism and assassinate its own people….. and no I’m not sure which is which now that I think about it.

Blood brilliant, scientific ignoramuses, mired in the mindset of their post-retirement age peers, are doing all they can to prevent us actually fixing the world around us. I hope there truly isn’t a God, or at least not one that pays attention to the posturing of this insignificant race in this miniscule corner of the universe, because if there is, she’s going to be awfully pissed off with what we’ve done to our world.

Marriage

Hell of a scary word for a guy, possibly due to the importance placed upon it by the gal.

we don't all skip down the isle

A long time ago I decided that I had a 5 year limit. If I hadn’t gotten down on one knee and popped the question by that point, possibly even been ringed and notarized, then I had to bail. To my mind it seemed that doing anything else was immensely selfish. If you hadn’t sealed the deal by then, it was your duty to get the hell out of the way and make room for someone who would.

Five years is a long time, I figure there isn’t much in the way of serious relationship action before 15 or after 60, so your ‘prime’ time is about 45 years. 5 years is a 1/9 of that, keep someone hanging for a full ninth of their dating years without stepping up to the plate and being a man about it, then you might as well admit you’re a selfish coward and bow out altogether.

Lust made (overly) Legal

I figure there are a couple of different conscious (or subconscious) reasons why you might not get married despite staying with a person.

1. The Cynic: Generations of kids from broken marriages have seen the horrific fallout of a formalized relationship gone wrong. They have no faith in the institute and are actually repelled by the idea.
2. The Realist: Generations that have seen the rising divorce rates, spousal abuse and hypocrisy of cheating couples and have decided that marriage is a needless and unnecessary legal step so that the government (and family) can stick its nose into what is, in essence, a private matter.
3. The Pathetic: Weak, insecure individuals who are too pathetic to strike out on their own, but are staying in the relationship solely because they believe they are needed and wanted even if they don’t necessarily feel they need or want their partner.
4. The Monkey: Folks who are ‘in love’ for now but are always looking to trade up. Of course they’re not happy to let go of the last relationship until they’ve got their grubby paws on the new one…. Can’t be alone now can we?
5. The Unrealistic: Sure I’m with the right person; at least I think I am. Aren’t I? What if Mr or Mrs Right is still out there somewhere, just around the corner? The perfect one, the soul mate who is everything I dream them to be without the minor niggling faults of my current paramour.
6. The Pessimist: In many ways the direct opposite of the Unrealistic, you don’t want to trap them with flawed old you when they could do so much better. (Think Anthony Head’s moving speech in Imagine Me & You).

Of course that doesn’t cover the financially or chronologically challenged, but that’s more circumstance then intent. Now 1 and 2, I can respect, but only as long as the partner shares that view, otherwise you’re denying them what might be a life-long dream. 3, 4, and 5 are just sheer cowardice, and 6 I’m not going to comment on because I wander down that thought process occasionally.

modern marriage

Of, and the No.1 reason guys don’t like weddings? We don’t get to nail the bridesmaids if its our wedding Damn it, that’s why we went to all those other weddings.

Bridesmaids Rock!

Of course this is kind of a lame post, I should be talking about something controversial… gay marriage rights maybe… guess I will do that soon enough.

USA Healthcare

Well….. bugger me gently with a chainsaw…. looks like its going to happen.

America is finally getting off its twinky stuffed arse and trying to actually look after its citizens. Welcome to the 20th century folks (yes I know were past that point, but give ‘em a break their still not over their cold war paranoia yet) and smell the New World Order.

For the uninformed the New World Order looks pretty much like the Old World Order, but with less of America telling everyone else what to do. Oh, and we don’t blame communism for everything bad, and credit Jezuz for everything good. 

On an awesome synergistic point the current recession/depression will probably help to alleviate the transition from a heavily bureaucratic, private accountant run, insurance focused health industry to a heavily bureaucratic, government-run, medical based health industry. …. or at least it would if basic health food options didn’t cost more than fat and sugar stuffed alternatives.

Oh well, its one step towards a better system (at least till the GoP returns to the throne). A massive improvement would be simply to extend senatorial level health care (yes they have it) to the common folks, and put a ceiling on when you’re able to access it based on your income. Earn 6 figures, pay for it yourself.